It is true what they say; aliens walk among us. I should know because I am an alien. I look reasonably normal, even reasonably human. But if you listen you will know that my accent does not fit and that I walk out of step with everyone else. I have lived in three countries; England, New Zealand and Wales, but I was an alien from the day I was born.

My parents were Geordies, from the fog on the River Tyne to the castles of Northumberland. But one day after they were married, my parents went to live in a small village in the south-east of England. My father was going to work there, temporarily, and of course, my mother went too. I was born there, in a hospital in Suffolk when I should have made my debut in the north-east.

So, with no roots, no ties and no history, I can be anyone I want to be. My Great-Grandmother came from mid Wales. Fine, I live in mid Wales too, so I think I'll be a Celt.